The end of the school year and the approach of the summer months is an exciting time for students and families, particularly those who are graduating from high school (or even middle school!) In addition to sharing in your child’s anticipation and excitement, you can help your child prepare for a fun, happy and safe graduation season and summer. We know that times of transition offer opportunities to try new things which also allows for conversations between parent and child about these new adventures. Take advantage of opportunities to discuss not only celebratory plans and festive attire, but also all details of what they will be doing including communicating with you about their plans and safety issues like transportation, alcohol consumption and all night parties. For more information on all of the topics below, visit the topics for parents section of our website.
1. Communicate—start the conversation and establish a plan
• Before the festivities begin, have an open dialogue with your teen. Ascertain where your child plans to go, and with whom. Make sure you know the plan for before and after each event and that your teen has set times to check in with you. Discuss the likelihood that alcohol will be present and how your child can best handle the situation.
2. Be aware that alcohol is often easy to access
• Data shows that teens feel they can access alcohol more readily as they move through their high school years.
• Don’t become their point of access. Know how much alcohol you have in the house and where you keep it.
3. Discuss peer pressure/influence
• Teens at this age are highly influenced by the behaviors of their peers. Yes, it can be embarrassing for them, but emphasize how important it is to call for help if a friend is in trouble.
• Express your concerns about their health and safety and explain to them why a big night out makes it more difficult to make safe and smart decisions. Don’t be vague — discuss drinking, drugging, driving under the influence, and sex. Ask them how they plan to keep safe and avoid actions they will regret. Reinforce your belief in their character and in their ability to act responsibly and make good decisions.
4. If you’re hosting a party, keep control in your own backyard
• It’s a myth that providing alcohol to teens at home is safer.
• Offer food — if kids do find a way to drink later, food will at least help slow the alcohol absorption.
5. Don’t make assumptions when it comes to drinking and driving
• Remind them of the zero tolerance law — it’s illegal for anyone under 21 to drive with any alcohol in their bloodstream. That means no more drivers license!
• Remind them never to ride with others who have been drinking.
6. Don’t assume they know all the facts and don’t ignore the possibility of marijuana or other drugs
• Summer fun may present the opportunity for your child to be exposed to marijuana or other drug use. They may see their peers vaping or using a dab pen. Talk to them about the impact of marijuana on the developing brain and why vaping, while “better” than cigarettes, still presents a health risk.
• Take the time to educate your child about the effects of alcohol and other drugs on their bodies and brains. Knowledge will empower them to make good decisions.
7. Have a safety plan
• Make sure your teen has alternatives to driving no matter what; you can even discuss a ‘code word’ to be be used in regular conversation to get a teen out of a tough situation.
• Make a plan in case they’re stuck in an unsafe situation. Offer to pick them up any time, no questions asked.
8. Think about the future
• Remind your kids that pictures on the Internet will be seen, and not just by you. Even something “fleeting” like Snapchat can leave a digital footprint. Tell them not to be shortsighted enough to be tagged doing anything dicey.
• Bad decisions at key moments can influence the future. Remind them that good decision making will help them and their peers reach their goals now and in the future.
9. If a teen comes home in a bad way, consider the Emergency Room
• Hopefully, you will never be in this situation, but if your teen passes out and cannot be woken up, don’t risk having him or her just sleep it off — contact the ER and let an expert can make the call. It’s safer to deal with the hassle than the consequences of underestimating the severity of a problem.
10. Take advantage of the morning after to have a conversation
• The next day, ask your child about his/her experience. Was it fun? Did anything make them uncomfortable? Did anyone get into trouble? Use this opportunity to learn more about your child’s life and as a springboard for conversations about high school or college life and good decision making.